August 2004

For most of my life it was easy and natural for me to keep a daily journal. About two years ago I halted in this passionate desire. I will be 90 in 3 months. I do not have the energy for a lot of things I once had. I served as our church (ward) clerk--about four years, and was determined to stay with it until I was released, and I did. (Recently.) My sciatica problem made sitting difficult for any length of time. We'd start with meetings at 5:30 am and go until 4 pm. I was relieved to be released, as you might imagine.

My fibromyalgia kept me awake half of the night. I took medications for depression, several painkillers. About noon I took Percocet (codeine) to see me through to 4 o'clock. 

The new bishop had asked me to be the Sunday School President. I had to tell him the truth about my fibromyalgia and how hard it was to live with. I personally knew I would not be able to handle it. The bishop couldn't understand, since I looked healthy and acted frisky in his presence. He couldn't believe my health problems and my advanced age. 

My wife is 10 years younger than I and is still in good health. At age 75-80 I was still running fast and served in the high council, ward missionary, home teaching  new patients in the nearby hospital.

 I stayed home from the Kiwanis meeting today. I was very weak and couldn't arouse from the morning fibromyalgia problems. About 3 pm the cloud lifted.

My wife is very understanding. She is disappointed when I don't go [out] with her. I scream out at night with fibromyalgia pain. She is there to give me a general rubdown, which always helps. Every muscle in the body is on fire and aching. No remedy. My doctors try to help, but nothing works--yet.

I phoned my sister. Her husband is not doing well. I tried to cheer her up.

Next day we went to a movie, "The Village." It was most unusual and a little spooky. I was exhausted when we got home.

Last night was another night of hell. From 2 am on, my muscles burned and ached. I only got short naps until 5 am. My wife awoke once to give me a good rubdown.

 I'm always very weak and depressed on awakening and trying to get going in the morning. I stagger to the 10 steps to the bathroom to take 50 mg of caffeine. It is very effective. Also one Lorazepam, one wethyphencete (sorry, sp.) capsule, 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda dissolved in a glass of water for nausea. Slowly I gain my usual energy and the small amount of go-power for the next four hours. The medications eliminate the burn and help me on my way. Most unpleasant experience. This condition has plagued me for at least the past six years, during which time I serve 4 years as clerk, 2 years as Club program chairman and 1 year as president.

My sister's husband passed away.

Funeral over. It went very well. 

Had a terrible night. Between 3-5 am I got no sleep. Every muscle is aching. Horribly weak. Started medications at 5 am. Burning soothed but I'm still very weak and depressed.  I improved slowly. Got up and dressed at 5:45 and moved about a bit. Slowly, slowly I improved, but still very weak. Prepared breakfast.

I read from D&C 76 and 88. Paid bills and mailed the letters. Tried to catch up on some sleep.